associated in random thought

to my dearest kidneys:

my dearest kidneys, whom i adore equally:

why, oh why must you afflict me so? it's bad enough that my heart gave me such a scare last week, but you? now? after all we've been through? i just don't understand.

i hoped that, things being as they have recently, you would be quiet and peaceful. i have been kind to you since our last falling out in december. i thought we'd made a deal: you be quiet, pass no stones, and i'll keep my job. now, it seems you've reneged on that deal, and although my job appears to be secure, despite two consecutive absences, i still feel a bit cheated by your flippant attitude toward me.

i mean, honestly, where did i go wrong? have i not spent enough time considering your needs? is that why you've lashed out on me, unleashing another stone? did you feel like one trip to the radiology place was not enough? is there a cosmic reason for why i've now twice had the joy of iodine in my veins? was i about to die of iodine deficiency?

or maybe it was a latent need to share in helen's pain, by having my own hospital experience. after all, lying on a stretcher all covered in blankets as helen held my hand, was a reciprocation of sorts. a weird "let's not hang out in hospitals anymore" reciprocation, but we've bonded yet again. she even made me waffles afterward.

please don't tell me that all this drama was for the waffles. you wouldn't be so selfish, right?

ok. ok. i think i get it. the meaning behind all of this WAS just for the waffles. how selfish of you. you could've just told me.

from now on, i hope we can communicate more effectively.
i want to help you be healthy little kidneys. i need you in my life. please, just tell me what you need. don't bottle it all like this. i'm committed to our relationship, and i want you to trust me. if you need waffles, please just let me know.

your girl,
anne