perfect: i work only half a day today. eileen will be here in four hours for the weekend. healthy gunther. i'm almost not sick anymore. money in the bank. happy home.
but.
i'm on the verge of a panic attack, right here at my desk. shallow breaths. shaky, sweaty palms. nervous energy. fear.
our cat jesse is missing, after escaping the house two nights ago.
i worry.
my phone is missing, after escaping my bag at school two nights ago.
i can't find it.
one irreplaceable missing cat, one very replaceable missing phone. and it nearly has me undone.
this post is not for the sake of sympathy. if nothing else, let it be an example of what the ugly side of bipolar looks like. my chemical cocktail and therapy are all about not letting these moments claim the ground i've gained over the past few months.
whistling in the dark. over and over. a desperate tune. this will pass this will pass. all is well all is well.
hope don't fail me now.
Posted by bananie at September 30, 2006 12:15 PM | TrackBack