associated in random thought

the redemption of september.

a small thought on september: for the past nine years, the arrival of the month has made me ache.
the longcasting shadows and hints of autumn are reminders, no matter how subconscious, that it is the time of year again when i lost my father.

i am so sick of telling the same story, of living the same story every year. i am eighteen on a perfectly sunny friday. first semester of college. first aced exam. everything new and hopeful. and then the news. a heart attack. he's gone. everything changes forever. like september.

when the clock struck september yesterday, i did not wake with the usual ache. i woke with the hope of new beginnings. i have a new home. a blank page to tell a new story of a fulfilled life with helen.

i live a rich life.
i've survived these nine years.
i have my own home now.

i can see this, even in september.