so my psychiatrist chided me yesterday for my reticence to take seroquel regularly. we've been striking out recently when it comes to my cocktail, and seroquel is one of the few drugs that my body seems to be taking without much trouble.
a quick review of my body's rebellion against my psychiatrist's prescriptions:
welbutrin: allergic reaction that kept me from swallowing or breathing very well.
lamictal: i was one of the "rare instances" of a "possibly lifethreatening" rash (if it spreads), that thankfully stayed put on my face, but made blinking feel very funky.
so, i've been on prozac and seroquel, and i can breathe and my face feels normal.
seroquel sucks. i hate it. as a girl who has trouble quieting her mind enough to sleep for eight hours, however, it's a medication that my doctor thinks is a good idea. but when i take it, i sleep. and sleep. for very long hours. helen says that it looks like i'm dead when i've taken it.
when i take seroquel, the next day is a disaster. take today. a day off. here was how i hoped my day would pan out:
1. get up early, and take chloe to the vet to get spayed.
2. enjoy the morning, and take the dogs for a long walk with helen.
3. work on a presentation for class at cafe mundi.
4. pay the rent.
5. pick chloe up from the vet.
6. go to class.
instead, here is how today actually happened:
1. i turned off the alarm clock. helen brought me a cup of coffee that sat untouched beside the bed.
2. helen took chloe to the vet, and walked the dogs, while i slept.
3. i woke up for about an hour around noon, ate the food helen had made me hours earlier, drank microwaved cup of coffee.
4. went back to bed until 3.
5. in a haze, i shittily put together my presentation. helen picked chloe up from the vet, and paid the rent.
6. helen drove me to class, where i shittily gave said presentation.
seroquel steals my days. my psychiatrist promises that if i continue to increase my dosage, the sleepiness will wear off. instead, i'll get to worry about the risk of rapid weight gain and diabetes. high cholesterol too.
i don't know what to think about giving my brain over to seroquel. it feels like a deal with the devil. i am given sleep and a little less anxiety in exchange for my days? my weight? my blood?
forgive the rant, but i'm so angry about losing a beautiful day to side effects.
/end.
I'm sorry, annie. I understand how much it sucks!