associated in random thought

not spring yet.

it sure as hell feels like spring today. sunny and seventy degrees. tshirt weather indeed.

i am having a quintessential day off: i cashed in on the massage that chris bought for my birthday. sweet lord of hosts, it was lovely. afterwards, i broke in my 75-300 mm lens a little bit. you can see what i did here.

today was therapy day as well. i should always have a massage before therapy, i have decided, for i was crazy relaxed and so was my brain. i articulated my actual mindset, and my therapist understood what i was saying. i was able to say: i'm going down the slide fast, and i know what's at the bottom. i have stopped myself midway, and am clawing my way back up.

but i'm tired.

this is the first time in my life that i have been able to have perspective about my manic/depressive cycles as they are happening. and the whole point of therapy is not to freefall down that slide (it's steep enough to do that, you see) and hit bottom again. my therapist is reminding me how to use what strength i have to pull myself up. and she is helping me to see the arms outstretched to help with the pulling.

nothing is fixed. and i am still a funky chicken. but. it's a beautiful day, and i am outside. it's a beautiful day and i am hopeful.
Posted by bananie at February 6, 2007 4:07 PM | TrackBack