associated in random thought

it is a...

(girl)

sparky has no turtle. but peep that hamburger bun.

i honestly don't know how to describe the magnitude of getting to see sparky kicking and punching and sucking her thumb and fingers on a big flat screen tv in front of me. i just lay there with my belly exposed and took it all in: there is her cerebellum. all four chambers of her heart, which is pulsing steadily at 148 beats per minute. her ribs. her kidneys. toes and fingers. humerus. femur. that's my daughter in there. all eight ounces of her. she is perfect and alive and she kicked hard at my belly button for the rest of the afternoon.

amen.

vote for sparky.

so, the big bits-revealing ultrasound is scheduled for monday, and i'd love your vibey vote. so go here to guess sparky's bits!

jumping in.

well hello there. anyone out there? crickets? mom?

here we are on january 3, st vincent quietly piping through the bose speakers. incense burning. one last night with an illuminated christmas tree. the dogs are in their heavens, which is to say my bed, and sparky is poking away at my belly button from the inside.

i will begin the first entry of 2008 on the subject of sparky, naturally. i'm pushing 17 weeks now, and am practically a seasoned pregnant woman. my belly is growing firm and round, quickly now, and in the past week, sparky has made her existence known through a series of bubbles and flutterings deep in my belly. [note: we are using the universal "she" until we know what bits sparky is wearing.]

i am still having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that i'm growing a human, one who is my son or daughter, and that in five months i will give birth. and yet sparky continues to poke me. but every day, i wake up with a calm sense of being, of breathing and fearful joy enfolding me. hello baby. we are so excited to meet you. grow and grow and become who you are. we'll be waiting on the outside.

sparky received a book of nursery rhymes for christmas, inscribed with these words: “never has a child been so loved before arrival." exactly.

we heard the heartbeat today for the second time. loud and measured and so very alive. the midwives are taking bets on sparky's sex based on that heartbeat, but helen and i simply held hands and smiled.

on january 14, we will see sparky on the bigscreen, and hopefully adjust pronouns accordingly.

meanwhile, we're spending our efforts on creating a spacious, healthy nest for our little spark. if the underwriting gods at the bank look favorably upon us and our humble request for a loan, we will be moving into this house sometime in february:

1630 sqft 3BR/2.5BA + study + big backyard + stained concrete floors downstairs + all new appliances + nominally more expensive mortgage than our current rent amount = yay.

that's how we've figured the math, anyway.

so, as you can see, we've begun 2008 with a bang. we may not have jumped into barton springs this year, but my goodness, we've jumped into the investment of our future.

happy new year, friends. this is a big one.