associated in random thought

hi, my name is bananie. you may remember me. or not.

so i have received more than one (two actually) emails which have basically said, "last post march 5? wtf?"

i concur. wtf. i'm a terrible, terrible blogger. i am also pregnant. and lazy.

i am not quite sure how to fill in this lost month or so. lots of life has happened. i have a big fetus kicking the hell out of my ribs and bladder simultaneously. she also loves to punch my belly button. she gots skillz. what can i say? i am beginning to waddle, which is entertaining.

life has slowed down immensely for me. i began my maternity leave this week, even though i am not due for another 8 weeks. my blood pressure and heart rate are suddenly higher than they should be, and so i'm at a place of removing stressors and simply relaxing. it's a weird, welcome change to suddenly have a whole lot of time on my hands before the baby comes. i wake up every morning with an empty schedule.

naturally, my self-guilt kicked in immediately, and i feel like i should have some structure to my days, lest i stay in bed until late afternoon all the time. oh, but as helen reminds me, it's totally okay if that is how i spend my day. i'm growing a baby, who is getting fat and full of brainpower, and that's a job in itself. that perspective makes me feel like a slightly less lazy whale.

along with the lazy sleepiness, i am also nesting hardcore. when i am not in bed, i am scrubbing something. or vacuuming. dust and hair and clutter make my normally disorganized self insane with anxiety. pregnancy is weird, man. most of our stuff is still in boxes until helen is done with school (may 9!) and can do the heavy lifting and painting. i have dreams of ripping through the boxes and putting everything away. i dream of rearranging furniture. who am i anymore?

i am boring, that's who. my god, i am boring myself with this entry.

maybe i should put it to bed and just leave you with some pictures of what you've missed over the past month. yeah, probably best.

here i am, posing with my belly today, at 31 weeks, 3 days pregnant. sparky was punching me in the belly button as i took the photo.

here i am with our dear friend, kate, when we visited her in wimberley a few weeks ago. she is going to christen sparky. and someday, when we get our shit together, she'll marry us too!

and here are our puppies, romping offleash in our new neighborhood. we take them for long walks along a dirt road, and then reward them for not running away by letting them romp in the pond at what will be our community's greenbelt.

my maternity leave resolution: write more and take more photos.
i have a whole lot to process about sparky's imminent birth. you have been warned.

Posted by bananie at April 16, 2008 1:54 PM | TrackBack