how bout yews?
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here, in numbered form, are all the things i have learned since my last post:
1. quitting smoking is a good thing.
2. quitting smoking is impossible to do just because you are out of cigarettes, because you will eventually find some more. somewhere.
3. i hated initech enough to quit.
4. temping isn't much better.
so here we all are, on the 25th of january, and i wonder how your weather is. for me, it is sunny and breezy: 75 degrees. and i'm sitting on the porch of spiderhouse, having just finished a peach smoothie. a boy who absolutely wreaks of patchoulie keeps walking past me. he is pepe le pew. he is the counter culture. of something.
for the next few weeks i am temping at the organization who didn't hire me when i first moved here. they have hired me now, thanks to kelly services.
on day one, i sat down in a small room with six work stations:
the pregnant lady, the white-haired lady, vebbie with her frozen water bottle, the quiet cowboy, the greasy-haired musician who brought his demo to hand out, and me. we all received surveys and directions: cold-call the masses and find out about the state of their colons. okay, we said, and put on our headsets.
but the automated dialing system didn't work. so we sat for a half hour, as our supervisor, a woman whose eyeshadow is color-coordinated with her outfit--all the way up to her eyebrows-- paced and muttered to herself that the system would be up soon. it was.
after three survey attempts, the quiet cowboy hung up his headset, and left.
we were five.
then the pregnant lady hung her head and began to whimper. our supervisor rushed to her side. she had gone into labor. so we were sent on a break. ten minutes later we were sent home, for pregnant lady's water had broken right there at her work station. i exited the parking lot as the firetruck and ambulance whirled in.
day two: and then we were three. our rockstar never came back. mebbie, dottie, the white-haired lady and i began our day rather uneventfully. the masses told us various things about their colons. after an hour, however, dottie threw up. she went home, leaving mebbie and i to do it all on our own. i made nearly 800 outbound calls yesterday.
today, the supervisor was out for a funeral and the system would not let me log in. i tried for a half hour to troubleshoot the bitch, to no avail. apparently, the IT department was at the funeral as well, so no one knew how to help me. as i mentioned already, it is 75 and sunny, and i'll be damned if i was going to sit at a broken work station all afternoon and listen to onesided conversations about colons, so i left. i drove down an unfamiliar road out into the country, and found a little old church. white and tiny, it was built in 1875 by austin's german settlers. in front of it lies a small cemetery, most of its gravestones weathered by time and texas' wide open terrain. next door, goats gathered at a fence and watched me walk around. i found a seat on the church steps, finally, and read a bit of sena jeter naslund's the disobedience of water.
such a nice day of temping.
now, it is 6 o'clock, and i am utterly content to be sitting here by myself, writing. i sincerely hope this temping life works out, because the money isn't bad. but. it sure is nice to have unexpected free days.
oh, and i'm down to four cigarettes a day. or so.
so maybe slow and steady wins the race? that's what tino tells me (as he munches on a carrot). have i mentioned how big he's gotten? his shell is the size of a big mac. he's a grown man now. but i digress...
i'll try again tomorrow.
for the record, tino isn't the only one munching on carrots around here. i warded off my cravings by enjoying the crispness of fresh baby carrots. ah, vegetable goodness. if only it had helped.
i'm beginning to think this was a very bad idea...
*beating head against wall*
shit. this isn't fun at all. i've eaten most of the chocolate in the house, and all the cocacola is gone.
why did i decide to publicly quit smoking this afternoon?
c r a v i n g.
let's see. what shall i do to distract myself? um...watch a movie? take a nap? work?
the neighborhood store is sooooo close. i could be there in 2 minutes. ooooo...
must stop thinking this way.
maybe i'll take a shower.
or read fark.
did i mention that this is no fun at all?
i've just come inside from smoking the last of my marlboros. i feel achy and tired today, still recuperating from the sick, and dealing with the monthlies. and, much to my dismay, i did not enjoy my sacred little smoky moment on the patio. it was nice to sit in the sun, to pet the pups who were glad to be outdoors for a moment. but my lungs weren't happy, my body wasn't thankful.
so then it hit me. (ohno.) maybe i should give quitting a chance. i have no smokes anyway. i'd have to get dressed, drive to the store, pay. etc. it just sounds too laborious today (because i am not yet nic-ing). so. here we go. i am going to see what a smokeless today will be like. and hopefully, a smokeless tomorrow. "they" say that if you can make it three days without caving, you'll be ok. hmm. let's see if i can make it through a smokeless three o'clock hour...
[to be continued]
do you ever somehow know that life is still inside you by simply reading someone else's words? and it's not even necessarily the classics, either. for me, tonight, it's simply someone else's blogwords. someone who writes prolifically, even when uninspired. gosh. maybe i gots words in here somewhere, too.
oh, hopefully so.
(or i'll be at initech for a long, long time.)
i think that i've forgotten how hard it is to find a good job. especially when you take the blind-folded-dart-throwing approach to it all: i.e. "well this one pays more than $10/hour. i'm sure i could make it work."
since arriving in austin, i have posted my humble resume everywhere but neighborhood telephone poles. i've applied for nearly every position under the admin/customer service/sales/non-profit headings. and in the middle of it all, i was actually offered a call center job. so, naturally, i took it.
i started on monday. i'm not so sure i'll go back this coming monday. let me try to capture the ambiance of the place...
for all office space aficionados, this place is initech. really. it is not surprising that the movie itself was filmed in austin. everything is arbitrary and harshly regulated. my every move and breath is monitored from the time i swipe my badge in order to enter the front door. security guards walk up and down the cubicle halls. no one is to bring forks to work. and: TPS is a real program. i haven't yet gotten a memo about cover pages, but i'm still in training.
my training class (which originally consisted of 31 people) is now down to about 25. we lost a few early last week due to failed drug tests. (my urine was pure and clean.) and we lost a few due to failed training tests.
this place is not my future. thankfully (and i really am thankful) there are some other options on the horizon, and i should have some good news to report in the near future...
so this has been my new year, really. it's been all about learning where i don't want to be. and coughing from the lungs. oh but i'm happy too. when not at initech, i've spent lazy mornings and evenings with helen and the pets, and have seen many movies, including meet the fockers, the life aquatic, kinsey, and spanglish.
oh, and i'm actually applying to graduate school here. fingers crossed. sincerest pleeeeeeease prayers constantly prayed with deliberate lack of whinyness. i just hope the good people of texas state think i'm worth their time. (pleeeeease.)
at 1:44 pm, i realize that it is now time to be something like productive. i will go get the mail.
happy belated new years, my friends...