as a devotee to the flying spaghetti monster, i must reveal to you all my true identity:
tonight, at the tail end of my sixteen hour workday, i was offered a one year contract with apple.
this is very good news.
another apple morning, with an orange on my desk. royal tenenbaums in my ears. elliott smith singing needle in the hay.
i spent my weekend behind the bar at starbucks, steaming milk for the masses. on saturday, i enjoyed myself. my hands were busy, my mind preoccupied with immediate tasks at hand. steam. rinse. brew. blend. serve. before long it was midnight and time to go to my friend ginger's birthday party.
it has been a long year for my dear ginger. we met in january, when i filled in shifts at a starbucks where she worked. we clicked immediately, but didn't begin to spend time together in earnest until marchish. around that time, ginger lost a love. previously, she'd lost a scooter--its engine exploded--her only means of transportation. by june, she was looking for work. and now? she's been asking the existential questions that can accompany turning thirtyfive (so i am told).
then. katrina came and took away parts of mississippi, where her family lives. i gave her a ride to the greyhound station, and she joined her parents and displaced relatives in waxahatchie, texas. ginger's presence proved to be quite instrumental, as she helped her family apply for FEMA aid, along with other computer-based tasks. they rallied altogether, and everything shifted for my friend: she felt blessed and loved and alive. she no longer feared thirtyfive.
and so she threw a party. friends came and came and came, all day and all night, to her efficiency apartment. helen and greg and i showed after midnight, and threw arms around ginger's neck. i'd never seen her smile so brightly. with such hope and joy. a dear friend named daniel surprised her with a new scooter. these are the kinds of friends that ginger attracts. a perfect night.
the next day she got a phonecall. a friend had died. bradley is his name. circumstances are uncertain; his roommate simply found him lifeless in their apartment. he was supposed to have been at the party. ginger was, appropriately, thrown. with this tragedy, she is afraid of losing the ground she has gained over the past few weeks.
i read these words on her livejournal yesterday:
You are my Friend.
I miss you in ways I am still wrapping my head around.
But what I must not do, is go to pieces and not champion
everything that you left undone.
You waved your tragedy like a flag.
My flag is hope.
Sometimes it touches the ground,
when I try to fold it.
my dearest ginger. i knew she shouldn't be alone yesterday. so i found myself driving to her place, and lounging on her pulled-out futon with a cigarette, paging through scrapbooks of her coming-of-age in california, her arrival and subsequent takeover of austin, and the adventures in between. we laughed. she cried. we ate noodles with chopsticks. we kept each other company like a vigil.
why is september so tragic?
the grief of the month is more palpable under the increasingly diffuse sun.
it's the real story of shock and awe: burning buildings, cities underwater, displaced families sitting on my own street corner. a friend named bradley dead in his twenties without a reason. my father's dust underground for eight years now.
i suppose that we interpret this macrocosm of chaos through the lens of our own capacity to lose and grieve. we have to. otherwise, our heads would explode with the utter bigness of despair. and so, with the distinct memory of my own sting, i join my friend with arms able to enfold. and my heart knows her own.
compassion: to suffer along with.
the miracle came when ginger laughed.
the miracle came when i survived.
can this be enough to carry us through?
well. here i am at my new job with apple. i must say: i like it. a lot.
i'm wearing flipflops.
and it's ok.
if you haven't heard yet, apple released a new ipod today. it's my job to manage the orders, as minis are officially retired.
the announcement was just made a few minutes ago. for now, i sit here in a bare cubicle, waiting for the thousands of emails to roll in. so far there are zero. and so i stare at the emergency evacuation plan of the building. good to know.
my cube name tag features the original dukes of hazzard. i wish i'd brought cds.
so, how is your wednesday?
yesterday passed too quickly to give lovely hollas to my beloved birthday girls of september 4:
all three of you are deeply a part of my life and heart. may this year be the most beautiful yet.
alright, here is my first blog meme, per jude:
5 albums on my ipodâ€¦.
i have no ipod*, but my itunes are hopping:
1. over the rhine - drunkard's prayer
2. all things sufjan stevens
3. bright eyes - i'm wide awake it's morning
4. sarah harmer - all of our names
5. kris delmhorst - songs for a hurricane
5 movies Iâ€™ve seen recently
1. bringing down the house
3. bread and tulips
4. the many adventures of winnie the pooh
5. my own private idaho
5 nice things that have happened to me recently
1. a customer at starbucks really liked my (lack of) hair today.
2. i got two jobs in one week.
3. i get to plan a birthday party for helen tomorrow.
4. i had fabulous indian food for dinner last night.
5. i was told i was loved this morning.
5 songs in heavy rotation
1. death cab for cutie - where soul meets body
2. sia - breathe me (oh six feet under, how you made me cry)
3. supergrass - st. petersburg
4. be your own pet - electric shake
5. coldplay - fix you
also I have been tagged with the five idiosyncrasies meme
1. i pick at scabs, finger nails, sloughy feet, etc incessantly.
2. i have a spider bite on my armpit. it hurts.
3. i prefer to be commando. (but still utilize my vickie's secrets)
4. i'll go to ridiculous lengths to hide my chubby belly.
5. i eat my green m&ms last.
ok, let's see here. trevie, beonkey, flibbityflu, and val: tag, you're it!
*i want an ipod almost as much as i want world peace. my birthday is next month. hint. hint. soso subtle hint.
i apologize for my lack of words this week. to those who have checked back more than once, i realize that you have been subjected to staring at my big bald head. again, i apologize.
my head is fuzzy now, one week into its naked state. you just don't realize how fast it grows until you can almost literally see it happen. my fun with the clippers has turned into a science experiment!
meanwhile, being a baldy girl has become a bit of a sociology experiment. you would think that, living in austin, whose slogan is "keep austin weird", that i would walk through the streets unnoticed. yeah, i thought that as well. until i went out on saturday night to a neighborhood bar, where i was the recipient of various stares. as i stood at the bar waiting to order, a drunk man with a ponytail asked me loudly: so what made you shave off all your hair? you prolly look way better with it. i simply replied, what made you grow yours so long? i thought men were supposed to have short hair.
end of conversation.
i began work at starbucks on sunday. other than a quick education in the disgusting green tea frappuccinos, it felt like i had only been away for a few days. i'm still quick. and i make the best foam this side of the mississippi (as well as the other side).
i told jude the other day that one of the reasons i cut off my hair was because i really do not want a desk job, and a shaved head would probably seal my fate away from the admin world. however, i got a call on monday about a job i'd applied for several weeks ago. a job at apple. i went in for an interview and tests. i got the job. ha!
so. starting tuesday, i'll begin a two-week assignment doing various admin things from behind a desk at apple. afterwards, there is a very good chance that i'll begin a one-year contract with them. for the timebeing, i'll be moonlighting at starbucks as well.
expect exhausted blog posts for awhile.
because of the precarious work situation, i have deferred entrance into the masters program until spring. i'll burn myself out if i try to start it now.
i really don't have much else to report from austin. my days have been filled with the images of katrina, and anger at our government's ineptitude and ridiculously poor budget management. obviously, this administration never consulted with dave ramsey before allotting a bazillion dollars for iraq, while plugging their ears to the hurricane experts begging for more money to prevent what has happened to new orleans.
i took my friend ginger to the bus station the other day. she was on her way to waxahatchie, where her parents live. it has become a refugee camp for her louisiana family, whose towns were wiped off the map.
i sincerely hope that your families are all ok out there.
signing off for now.