November 7, 2007

all about food.

apologies for scant posting this week. the sick has taken a turn toward all-consuming. sea-bands have lost their magic powers, though helen still wants to sew little stars on them so i look like wonderwoman. (wonderwoman is her "root".) i cannot look at a gingersnap, crackers leave a funky aftertaste in my mouth, as does ginger ale, and if it were up to me, i wouldn't eat anything. ever. again.

but, for the sake of sparky, i eat.

this, dear friends, is an example of how i eat. in my head, i go through a constant menu of possible foods: spaghetti, hamburger, yogurt, pizza, stirfry...ok, self, does anything sound edible? if i get a 'yes' on any of the suggestions, i envision myself eating it. i prepare myself for flavor, texture, and overall satisfaction. if i can get through the mental meal, i will then try the actual meal. after all of the mental olympics, though, sometimes the food of my dreams is not available. [last week, i languished over the idea of a piece of veggie lasagne as i drove home from work, only to find helen had eaten it b/c the night before, i turned up my nose at the thought of it. i had to start over.]

the other night, my brain landed on tuna. (picture my food process as spinning the wheel of fortune.) i looked through our overcrowded pantry, and we had no tuna. and so, i drove myself to the neighborhood grocery store. in my pajamas. wearing a sports bra that hadn't before covered my pregnant beasts. the cleavage bursting forth from my hanes vneck was unbelievable. i got ogled! i digress. i bought the tuna. hardboiled an egg. mix mix mixed until i had before me a perfect tuna salad. and of course you know the rest of the story: one bite later and i was gagging. it's currently hanging out in the fridge, preparing for a garbage death. helen doesn't eat tuna, and lord knows i probably won't want it again for months.

that same evening, i lay on the couch--sad and hungry--watching a dr. oz show on discovery health, when a pro bowler with crazy high triglycerides grilled some asparagus in order to save his own life. asparagus! that sounded fantastic! and so i texted helen, who was in class, and asked her to pick some up. and lo, at 10 pm, she made me a wonderful dinner of asparagus over toast, complete with a lovely swiss cheese and egg white sauce. i ate two pieces before the urge to vomit overtook me. i consider that meal a rousing success. i did not vomit, and i actually had a healthy portion of vegetables. i win!

last night, we all went out for greg's birthday. i picked the restaurant--all of our favorite--the clay pit. think really really divine indian food. all day, i practiced eating dinner. i knew what i'd order: chicken tikka masala. i had a contingency plan: rice and naan.

when i entered the restaurant, the aroma overtook me in a positive way! my belly began to rumble and i was hungry! with an appetite! we ordered. i ate. and it tasted so. good. i very nearly finished my whole dinner. (the texture aversion kicked in only at the very end.) and another thing, i enjoyed two cups of clay pit's homemade chai. it's not sweet, and last night it had a lovely cardamom (had to look up the spelling) flavor. that chai was my savior of the evening. it sat in my belly so well. i remember it fondly even now.

my wonderful meal with beloved friends did not make me ill afterwards. as we sat around our house eating cake afterward, i felt blessed and blissed out with non-nausea. just a few hours' reprieve made me so thankful for anything remotely normal.

this morning, sparky is growing, and i'm achy and tired and can't sleep. my belly is expanding a little more every day, and when i sit down, the top of my pants rolls down. today is 8 weeks 3 days. tomorrow is my first official appointment with our midwife. the nausea isn't overwhelming thus far today. and i am grateful and quiet.

Posted by bananie at November 7, 2007 6:56 AM |
Comments

Bananie,

Hopefully week 12 will bring the usual reprieve! Funny to hear about the Clay Pit since my one and only craving during my pregnancy was for onion bhajees and we had to do about 45 minutes of research online followed by a 45 minute drive to get to our closest Indian restaurant. Grow on sparky but give your mamma a wee break!

Posted by: Jude at November 7, 2007 8:36 AM

food, huzzah!

an item from my experience is - don't eat too much of the food that doesn't make you ill. because once you're no longer ill, the thought/scent/taste of that wondrous food will cause you to remember being ill and you'll vomit. don't know why this is. however, i'm now having a very hard time drinking diet coke, simply because i DID drink so much of it when coffee made me yarp.

Posted by: Rachel at November 7, 2007 4:26 PM

I suspect Sparky will always like Indian food!

Posted by: Amy at November 7, 2007 8:54 PM

Hope you have the Clay Pit on speed dial. I had to eat a lot of egg and onion flavored matzoh with a light layer of butter the first half of both my pregnancies.I found that if I ate the matzoh with butter about 20 minutes before I was going to eat a meal, or try to, I had better success keeping things down. Hopefully this will pass in a week more or so. I am so excited about your news!

Posted by: maxine at November 8, 2007 1:30 PM

my boy samuel likes indian food, and snails.....guess there's truth in it all after all

Posted by: Paul at November 9, 2007 6:21 AM

i ate bananas and petit filous and not much else for weeks. guess what little tumnus likes to eat most?

glad all is well with you!xx

Posted by: shirley at November 9, 2007 5:53 PM

Oh! How familiar! I was dreadfully sick with Olivia, and I remember for a while the only thing I could keep down was refried beans and chicken skins. David would drive to the Mexican take-out place, then pick up Mrs. Winner's chicken on the way home. I also had a fling with fresh pineapple, though. With Ben, I wanted lots of red meat and greasy, fattening food. I think the baby will let you know what you need!

Also, I used to worry that my babies weren't getting enough nutrition in utero, because I couldn't keep anything down, but my doc said that the baby would take everything it needed from me and my reserves. That comforted me.

Posted by: Lisa C at November 11, 2007 1:57 PM

"tomorrow is the last birthday of my twenties. and it is the last birthday without sparky in my arms. s/he will be 4 months old this time next year. i cannot wrap my mind around this."

This is so weird, dear. I mean it.
In a good way, a great way.

Miss you so.
{xo}

Posted by: [jp/p] at November 12, 2007 2:14 PM

I'm glad you had a break that evening. Continual nausea is something I truly can't comprehend. If anything ever interfered with my appetite the sky would fall that very day. Love to you, Sparky, Helen, Furries.

Posted by: Cerise at November 13, 2007 3:54 PM
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